Can I Keep My Child From the Other Parent?

If your relationship with your child’s other parent has ended and things are tense, you may wonder if you have to let them see your child. 

The short answer: It depends on whether you've gone to court for custody. If you haven't gone to court, and there’s no court order, it’s legal to keep your child from the other parent. But that doesn’t always mean it’s the right choice. 

Before you go to court 

Without a court order, either parent can keep the child from the other. Still, it’s important to be careful.  

If one parent later asks for custody, a judge will want to know why the other parent was kept away. The judge may decide it was not a good reason and award custody to the other parent. 

When is it OK to keep your child from the other parent? The biggest reason is safety. If you or your child would be in danger, it may be OK to not let the other parent see your child. But this only applies if you haven't gone to court yet. If you're in this situation, see our article on leaving an abusive relationship for more help. 

During a court case 

If you’re in the middle of a family court case, the answer depends on whether the court made temporary orders.  

A temporary order is a legal document that sets rules for things like custody or parenting time while a court case is going on. These orders must be followed until the court makes a final decision. You can learn more about temporary orders here. 

If you don’t know whether a temporary order exists, you can lookup your court case online or call your local circuit court and ask. 

After a court case 

When your court case ends, there will be a final custody order. This court order includes a parenting plan that both parents must follow. 

If a parent doesn’t follow the plan—like by refusing visits—the other parent can ask the court for help enforcing the order. 

Learn more about what to do when a parent doesn’t follow court orders. 

What’s best for your kids 

Children usually do best when they have safe, stable relationships with both parents. 

If you’re thinking about keeping your child from the other parent, stop and ask yourself why. 

If it’s because you’re angry or upset

Pause and avoid reacting out of anger. It’s not a good idea to keep your kids from their other parent just because you’re angry. This decision can hurt you in the long run in a future court case. It will also affect your kids.

If you're worried about your kid’s safety

If your worried about safety, it can sometimes be OK to limit or cut off contact. But only if you haven't gone to court yet. If there is a court order, you must follow it until a court changes it—even if you're concerned for your kids. If you need to change your order, go here for more information.

Need help? 

If you’re not sure what to do: 

• Contact your local family law facilitator. They work for the court and offer free help with family law forms and information. Learn more about facilitators.
• Talk to a lawyer. A lawyer can give you advice based on your situation. Use this guide to find legal help. 

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